Feeling Blue

I am feeling blue tonight. I had an absolutely terrible week, topped off by an upsetting day today! Tim is out of town on business, and I am feeling lonely and sad. It has been a difficult year in a lot of ways. So many life changes and a lot of goodbyes to people and things that I loved. Tonight, I am missing one of those friends, my cat Roxy who we lost on December 12,2007. She was a gentle soul with the loudest purr and the purest heart. I adopted her in 2000 - I used my big windfall from a tax refund to buy her. There were so many kittens to choose from at the shelter, but I chose her because the shelter worker told me they were going to put her to sleep because she was so ferile. She was only a little over three weeks old, scared and shy. When I brought her home, she was sick with a respiratory illness and after two days of loving care, she was healthy and tame (although she was forever shy around strangers. She loved to steal bites of chips - she loved cuddling with her baby sister Rio. She loved my old purple slipper that she cuddled with and she loved hanging out in my closet. She loved Tim from the day I met him - he definately got her stamp of approval.

Roxy weighed nearly 25 pounds but was never sick - until about December 10th. I started to notice that she wasn't eating - and when she refused treats, I knew there was a problem. I took her to the vet and after examining her they realized that she was very dehydrated and had impacted bowels. They kept her that night to monitor her and I was at work until 1AM getting ready for an executive visit. I stopped by on the way home from work (the vet hospital was open all night) and when I looked at her, I knew she was very ill. They called Tim at 5AM and told him that her organs were starting to fail and that she didn't have long. She was suffering from Fatty Liver Syndrome and it was causing her body to shut down. He had the horrible job of waking me up to tell me that news - the unthinkable. We drove to the vet and stood with her as they put her to sleep. I had my hand on her and I told her how much we loved her and thanked her for the joy she brought us for so many years. I sobbed at the emptiness of knowing she wouldn't be home when we got there. I sobbed at the empty carrier we had to take home and at the kindness of the vet tech who made a plaster imprint of her paw for me to have. I sobbed when I saw that empty closet and her beloved purple slipper laying on the floor where she had left it. I cannot believe it has been almost a year since I lost my dear friend.

Back on it’s golden hinges

The Gate of Memory swings,

And my heart goes into the garden

And walks with the olden things.

Not a day goes by that we don't miss you, Roxy girl.