A Story and a confession...

Tomorrow is the 3 year anniversary of my first date with Tim. I thought it would be a really nice time to share our story with you. I had been single for almost one year to the day following my divorce from Derek and had truly begun to believe that there weren't any nice men left out there. I always say that someday I will write a book about my year as a single woman - it was filled with fun and eye opening experiences about men and the single life. I'd always had a boyfriend, but had never really dated per say. In one year, I tested those dating waters - my friend Tonya and I painted the bar scene (that was how she met her husband) and I just had zero luck. I even had something slipped in my drink on a first date, and thankfully came out of that experience unscathed. And when you work in the greeting card industry, single men aren't really readily available to meet and get to know. So, I decided to jump into the wonderful world of online match making. I was almost 27 years old and I knew what I wanted, an honest person without children, preferably not divorced, with a decent job who lived locally. My first two online dates were just okay - nothing great, nothing terrible. Then I met Tim. We talked on the phone a few times before deciding to get together for dinner. We had to do it on September 4th because the 3rd was his birthday and his family was having a bbq. The night of the 3rd, after his party, we talked for hours. Through three different phone batteries - talking about everything and nothing. I knew that he was different. He didn't just want to go to a bar for a drink like a lot of the other people I had met - he wanted to go to dinner somewhere great and he wanted to pick me up because that was chivalrous. He got lost on the way to my house and I wound up meeting him for the first time in my driveway. I don't know if it was love at first sight, but I knew he was different somehow from everyone else I had ever dated. Warmer, kinder, different. We went to Laguna Beach for our first date and had dinner at a restaurant called Five Feet. We were waiting to be seated and he grabbed my hand and when I looked up at him, he kissed my forehead. It felt like we had been together for years. So comfortable. After that night, Tim and I started dating. By October, we were an official couple and I was already starting to think of him as maybe the one.

At the beginning of November, I found a note on my car at work left by my ex-husband asking me to call him. I didn't. Two days later, he sent me flowers at work. I threw them away. Then he came to see me. He told me that he made a mistake and wanted to give our marriage another try. I'd only known Tim for 2 months and had spent a whole year wondering what it would be like if Derek changed his mind. I had no choice but to give it a try. It broke Tim's heart, but I was honest with him and he gave me my space. He would come to see me at work and we would talk every now and then but I was enjoying the fact that Derek was back. After such a painful split, I thought I would finally get some resolution on the pain I was feeling. Tim never gave up. He brought my Christmas presents to my store and bought me a ticket to go to Texas with him and his friends for the new year, but I didn't go. He should have given up on me, but he loved me. I treated him terribly and he still loved me. That January, Derek had started showing signs of being his "old self" and my trust was so frayed that I started to realize that I couldn't put our marriage back together. There were too many cracks and too many hurt feelings. I couldn't forgive. Period.

I came down with a terrible cold and was all alone at my apartment, talking to Tim on the phone. I told him how I was craving red clam chowder and how it had been the only thing that sounded good to me for days. Tim showed up on my doorstep that night with a big bag full of medicine, magazines, sourdough bread, and the best homemade clam chowder you have ever had. He found the recipe and made it himself. For me. That was love. And three years later, it still is. I'm so glad he never gave up on our love. I know that I have found the perfect person for me.

Tim, I love you. Thanks for the soup and for three years of happiness, surprises, patience, kindness, love, friendship, understanding, and laughter. I am so lucky to call you mine.